I’m an actor, and like so many actors you know or may have heard of there’s one thing that generally binds us all together.
Have you guessed it?
No, it’s not the fact that we’re pretty much all broke. (Although generally true)
No, it’s not the fact that some of us seem to be able to put away a surprisingly large amount of drink. (Still… true…)
It’s that at one point or another we will have all worked a part time job in hospitality or something similar in order to pay the bills, put food on the table and keep the dream alive until one day you get the call that you’ve got the job, Yay!
I myself have worked pretty much every job available to a part timer in the hospitality industry, from bar back, all the way up to hosting a five-star hotel and restaurant in central London. One big thing I noticed, particularly whilst hosting, is people’s ability to engage with another person and what are the best way’s I found of doing it myself.
Now personally, I believe that everyone is very much of the same worth, nobody is better, nobody is worse, and that gives me an edge over others when it comes to talking to people.
I can talk to ANYBODY, because if they’re the same level as me then what’s the problem?
Now you may be thinking, well Charlie, this mental exercise is all well and good for my self-worth, but how do you actually deal with a person when you know nothing about them, the day they’re having, or if you’re having a bad day yourself?
Well there are lots of answers to those questions, how do they walk, introduce themselves, what clothes are they wearing, what does their face say etc?
The big thing that nobody seems to pay attention to is what vibe they’re giving off, or what I like to call FREQUENCY. Much like a radio, if you can tune into another person’s frequency and either bring it up to yours or bring yours to meet theirs, you’re going to have a much easier time of your encounter with said person.
Now I tend to find that at any given moment, a person exists in one of three different Frequencies, Low, High and the Right Frequency.
Low Frequency people tend to, more often than not, act insularly, they make small amounts of eye contact, they’re not very loud and generally keep themselves to themselves. They tend to be socially awkward and have the add on effect of making you feel awkward around them.
High Frequency people on the other hand are very much the opposite, loud and proud, I don’t care whose listening as long as I’m heard, the person who must always be the Alpha in a conversation with the biggest laugh, the most impressive story etc. you know the type, and you know that you’re, probably, not being listened to.
Now the Right Frequency, this is the sweet spot between the two. The area where we know a person is there and not just engaging with us, but actively listening to what we’re saying and doing instead of trying to lead the conversation. You feel like you’re being listened to and you want to spend more time with that person because everything flows well around them.
Active listening doesn’t just extend to simply hearing someone talk however, it’s to do with “listening” to what their body is giving off, the right body language, their tone of voice, how they reacted to that comment that was made. You know when you’ve seen that guy/girl whose chatting up that person they fancy and they’re absolutely killing it? I can absolutely promise you, they weren’t just listening to the words coming out of the person’s mouth, but everything that was being given off by them.
Now, I’m not saying that every time you meet a new person you should try and chat them up, it’s not going to work. What I am saying is that when you meet a new person and you wish to make that first good impression, try and find their frequency, and slowly but surely bring it to the Right Frequency. You never know what opportunities might arise because of how that meeting goes down.
If you want to know more about Finding the Right Frequency, or about how to improve your ability as a public speaker, CLICK HERE now to get instant access to my free training video.